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I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl, by Laurie Notaro
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Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious.
Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she’s dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen (“Three Thousand Faces of Eve”) before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie’s newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there’s a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend.
I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term “meltdowns” (she considers them “Opportunities to Enlighten”) put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess.
- Sales Rank: #329061 in Books
- Brand: Villard
- Published on: 2004-06-08
- Released on: 2004-06-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .50" w x 5.20" l, .43 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
Fans of Notaro's chronicles of the idiosyncrasies of her life as a 20-something (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club) and new wife (Autobiography of a Fat Bride) will cheer the arrival of this collection of all-new material updating them on the meticulously analyzed exploits of Notaro's mid-30s. Among these navel-gazing essays are the story of how, one day when Notaro had a cold, she blew bubbles out her nose upon meeting a new boss; a repetitive whine about the specific types of spam e-mail her sister sends her; details of her passing of some kidney stones; and even quotations from a "sucky" review of one of her books from Kirkus Reviews. No event is too inconsequential for Notaro to recount at length; no relative, friend, or acquaintance too insignificant, and yet reading this entire collection front to back won't leave readers with a single memorable character or episode. Notaro is at her best when she broadens her horizons beyond the quotidian mishaps of modern life and sets herself apart from her corporate colleagues (during a brief stint as a newspaper columnist) and the baby contagion luring her friends, one by one, to the perils of motherhood (she is 30-something, after all). On the whole, however, Notaro's is a comic gift in search of a subject.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“[Notaro] may be the funniest writer in this solar system.”
—The Miami Herald
From the Inside Flap
Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she's ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and "almost middle age has never been more hilarious.
Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now--miraculously--employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she's dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen ("Three Thousand Faces of Eve") before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in "way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie's newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there's a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Muffin candles and gun safety
By Dana
One of my favorite books of all time. My best friend and I have underlined our favorite parts and shared this book back and forth so much the cover is well loved. Laurie is like the missing piece of our inner circle of two. We feel her pain, have similar family weirdness, and lived in those same WTF moments called life. If you don't know about muffin candles- this book is for you. Buy it. Buy it right now. What are you waiting for? Why are you still reading this trying to decide if I, a total stranger, am telling you the truth about how amazing this book is? If you're not into humorous scenarios that hit home in ways you never thought possible- then this book isn't for you. Now click that button and buy this book. I gave it 5 stars! 5! What else could you possibly want from me? I have nothing left to give.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I'm sad I paid for this book.
By Tricia U
Laurie Notaro has shown up on my Amazon recommendations for a few years now. I finally caved and purchased the Kindle version of her book....and now I'm sad. I love comedy, irony, sporadic vulgarity and sarcasm - with Chelsea Handler being my go to author when I need a laugh....but this book - not so much.
After reading most of this book (and its embellishments), I'm beginning to picture the author as an unmotivated, borderline-hoarder version of Debbie Downer, herself. Her incessant need to be "funny" everywhere is exhausting - it feels a little (a lot) like participating in a bad relationship. Even her attempts to poke fun at the Disney characters appearing for her nephews birthday were just...sad. Guess it's not my kind of humor.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I love many things, but not this book
By Ophelia Mourns
This book proved for me an overstatement of the obvious--how subjective (our reaction to) the arts really is. (And the value of a really good manuscript editor.) I have a frustrating inability to stop reading a book I don't like. I have to see it through to its bitter end. Part of the reason for such self-punishment is hope that eventually the book or the author's style will eventually grow on me, or that I will come across a jewel of a line so funny or well-written, or insightful to the point I pump my fist in the air and say, "Yes!!" and so there's a payoff finally. I have not given myself further eyestrain in vain. The other reason is the consumer-competitor/nature lover angle. I paid X amount for a book and darn it, I Will Finish It. I will not let it defeat me, make me a quitter. And I think too of the tree cut down to make the book--yet another squirrel left homeless when winter comes. One less branch from which birds perch, waiting to take a dump on my just-washed car. And so I carry on, heave a sigh of relief when I finally hit the last page.
But don't you hate feeling cheated? I try to keep in mind the old saw, "If you think it's so easy to write a book, why haven't you written one?" I KNOW how hard it is to write a book (yes, I am an editor, but not in the trade industry). But that doesn't mean I have to like a book or say only positive things about it. I try to balance out what I don't like with what I do like. And this book hit both notes, so to speak. There were several very funny bits, but overall the humor throughout struck me as forced. The writing also sagged under the weight of an amazing number of run-on sentences (one had 77(!) words) with stingy punctuation. At times I had to fight the urge to reach out to Vanna White and ask if I could buy not a vowel but punctuation.
I had some favorites bits, though. Like when she gets summoned to the office of her new boss and her allergies are raging a jihad in her head. "My sinuses felt like someone poured the foundation to a house into them." Classic! Who hasn't felt that way when allergies or a really bad cold have you in their grip? It was a funny line. Except that that particular sentence had SEVENTY-SEVEN WORDS and only NINE punctuation points (ten if you count the em dash). I felt myself gasping for air when I finally came to the end of the sentence. And because the sentence was so endless, that truly funny line was drowned by all the verbiage around it. The line about the "rectal expression on his face" was a good one too, but it also is half-swallowed by the truckload of words that came after it.
Another laugh-out-loud moment was when she is talking about eating corn and asserts, "If something leaves my body, I pretty much figure that my relationship with it has reached the end." LOL!! I loved that one, enough I both highlighted it and copied it into a journal I keep of especially poignant or funny lines. Just as I did with her comment comparing the lack of movement of Tori Spelling's implants to a "set of gravestones." Or the "constant presence of a single roll of toilet paper that appears to simply roam about the house on its own." LOL! Again, a genuinely funny line, and visual. But my personal favorite line was her observation about her new editor, Three-Faces-of-Eve Gretchen, and how over time she came to the conclusion that "...there was a high possibility that Gretchen had tenants. In her body." In defense, she was "going to need to develop some of [her] own auxiliary personalities as a psychological defense mechanism." LOL! The problem, again, though, was you had to read through an endless series of run-on sentences to reach the 'prize.'
Unfortunately, there is so much verbiage (coupled with a punctuation drought) throughout that the payoff of genuinely hysterical lines lose some of their punch under the weight of all those words. It gets so a voice in your head starts chanting, "edit! edit!" Take The Sims game part, for instance. That part is like a short story of its very own tucked into the book. It goes on FOREVER and is so over the top that it isn't funny, but silly. And not good-silly. And that was my problem with the book overall. The going-for-the-big-laugh incidents, of which is about three-fourths of the book, seemed forced, desperate attempts to intentionally BE funny instead of the humor coming organically. Take the (endless) scene where she goes to her nephew's (Nicholas) preschool to be a helper for "Harvest Festival" (the more PC term for Halloween). Again, these are PRESCHOOLERS. But she ends up arguing with 5 year olds over the high cost of make-believe apples in their make-believe grocery store. As with other scenes, this one lasted absurd paragraph after absurd paragraph. Not a funny scene but a silly one, one in dire need of editing or outright elimination.
Maybe I am unfairly, unconsciously comparing her writing with that of Jen Lancaster (Jen's first few books, at least). Both Notaro and Lancaster are in the same genre, although I think Notaro was published first? In any case, there is a more organic pace, rhythm to Lancaster's books. Laugh-out-loud moments that come across as more authentic somehow, without all the unnecessary verbiage. I will give Notaro another try, though, as there were parts of the book I DID enjoy. But I will borrow them first. As for recommendations, I put all books into four categories: so good I buy the hardcover (or paperback) version AND the Kindle version; good enough to buy the Kindle version; borrow/download it from my public library or through Amazon Prime's free loan program; so bad I stay far away from any other books by the author. I would put I Love Everybody/Notaro in the third category--borrow first. Obviously I am in the minority on Notaro given the glowing reviews she's received and her NY Times status (though being on the NY Times list does not necessarily mean a book is great; it does mean it's moved a lot of units--rather like music and the Billboard chart). And though this book didn't do much for me, I truly congratulate Notaro on her best-selling status. And how wonderful it must have felt not just to have brought the "dynamite" for the bridge of her last columnist job, but to also have annihilated that sucker! :)
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