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Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. New York Times best-selling author Gary Chapman teamed with counselor Jennifer Thomas on this groundbreaking study of the way we apologize, discovering that it's not just a matter of will--it's a matter of how. By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies.
You'll learn the five languages of apology:
- Expressing regret
- Accepting responsibility
- Making restitution
- Genuinely repenting
- Requesting forgiveness
Hardcover edition.
- Sales Rank: #24816 in Books
- Published on: 2006-09-01
- Released on: 2006-09-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.00" w x 6.00" l, 1.20 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
Features
From Publishers Weekly
Chapman, author of the bestselling The Five Love Languages, teams up with psychologist Thomas for thoughtful dissection of another tricky subject. Chapman and Thomas choose to tackle the apology because, as with love, understanding it is essential for developing, maintaining and repairing relationships. Apology, however, covers a much broader scope, applying to all varieties of relationships, from the deeply personal connection between intimate partners to the formal relationships between nations. Chapman and Thomas's basic observation that we don't all agree on what constitutes a sincere apology is perhaps not surprising, but it may, as they show, help couples who can't resolve arguments because their apologies aren't accepted. The authors stress that you need to learn the "language" of the person you are apologizing to: for one person, it may be expressing regret, while for another it's accepting responsibility or making restitution. Especially useful is the chapter that helps readers learn which language of apology feels most sincere to them. Chapman and Thomas are most apt when they seek to repair relationships not with large ideas but with simple basics that are too often taken for granted. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Inside Flap
When our granddaughter Davy Grace was five years old, her mother and father allowed her to spend a special week with her grandparents. Karolyn and I were elated. The week was great fun. But one experience is indelibly printed in my memory. Karolyn has a special drawer where she keeps “stickers” for the grandchildren. Davy Grace, of course, knew about this special drawer and asked her grandmother if she could have some stickers. Karolyn told her that she could have three; any three she chose.An hour or two later, we began to see stickers all over the house. Davy Grace had taken the entire sheet of stickers and placed them randomly. Karolyn said to her, “I thought I told you to take only three stickers, but you have taken the whole sheet.”Davy Grace stood in silence as her grandmother continued. “You disobeyed Grandmother.”Tears cascaded down Davy Grace’s face as she said, “I need somebody to forgive me.”I shall never forget those words nor the pain which I saw in her young face. My tears joined her tears as I embraced her and said, “Honey, all of us need somebody to forgive us.” —From The Five Languages of Apology
From the Back Cover
“I said I was sorry!” Real life involves real people who make real mistakes. Sometimes saying “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough. The need for apologies impacts all human relationships. The good news is that you can learn the art of apology. Through their research and interactions with hundreds of individuals, counselors Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the revolutionary The Five Love Languages, have discovered five fundamental aspects or “languages” of an apology:
- Expressing regret -- “I am sorry.”
- Accepting responsibility -- “I was wrong.”
- Making restitution -- “What can I do to make it right?”
- Genuinely repenting -- “I’ll try not to do that again.”
- Requesting forgiveness -- “Will you please forgive me?”
In The Five Languages of Apology, you will learn how to recognize your own primary apology language while speaking the languages of those you love. Understanding and applying the five languages of an apology will greatly enhance all of your relationships. Includes the Apology Personal Profile and a Group Study Guide
Most helpful customer reviews
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
The five languages of apology: How to create healing in all your relationships
By paula
The credibility of this book was destroyed for me by the small segment entitled 'Children who are willing to apologise first" It uses Marcie as a case study, she is encouraged to apologise to her parents for feeling anger and resentment and for being estranged from them, to open the lines of communication. Her father sexually abused her , he forgives her and in turn asks for forgiveness, this is the first time her mother hears of it and they go to counselling. It is treated so lightly in this book. THIS MAN SHOULD BE IN PRISON. Marcie should not apologise for her anger, resentment or estrangement from her parents-she should confront them and lay charges against her father. This comes very close to victim blaming. I can only imagine how a person who has been abused would feel reading this.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Forgive yourself, forgive others, then speak it from your heart
By Amazon Customer
The willingness to say, "I'm sorry" is one of the most difficult challenges we face in this life. Then, not knowing how to express your, "I'm sorry" may put you in a state of paralysis where all you can think about is, am I using the right words, will my apology be well received, what am I really saying.. This book is written with so much empathy for you and for the person you are offering your apology to. It does more than teach you how to apologize, it helps you to think about it in a way that is not scary but human. The authors do a magnificent job of helping you to get to the root of your own feelings before attempting to touch the feelings of another. I recommend this book for anyone who loves language, loves people, is seeking humility and understands that brokenness can be repaired through human connection accompanied with a genuine apology.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
There are a few topics that many people refrain from ...
By Jasmine Bailey
There are a few topics that many people refrain from speaking openly--apologizing is one of the topics (in my opinion). This book is refreshing as it explains five different ways people need to receive or hear an apology. It is a game changer because it caused me to consider how I want to receive an apology, as well as how I can give a sincere apology. If you want to transform your relationships, you want to read this book.
See all 173 customer reviews...
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